You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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