you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
