Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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