Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
whose ass print is on the piano?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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