how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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