Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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