Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
