OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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