You're completely useless in the revolution.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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