The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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