just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
