she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
