Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've blown a few things in my day
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize