Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
