She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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