Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
im holly from the hills drunk
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
