And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
