Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
