my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
