I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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