I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
