you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
