Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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