Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize