if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
