You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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