My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
