If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize