I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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