Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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