as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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