I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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