one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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