STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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