check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize