I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize