I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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