This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
