okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm always down for nudity.
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