Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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