It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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