awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
God, I missed his penis.
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