Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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