Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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