How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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