I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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