office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
