omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
