STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
