IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
