I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
smell my finger.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
