This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I intend to get homeless drunk
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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