I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
