I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
