we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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