can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
