my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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