What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
