just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
