Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
