Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
