you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
