I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
