Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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