i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
