what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
