Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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