i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
