do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There r osticjed everywhere
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
