you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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