If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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