Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize