It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
smell my finger.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
