Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
